Mr. Over-Compensating

So… I have a saying that if you see a cute guy in the car next to you, you should at least wave and smile! Which I do often when I see cute guys driving down the road. I tend to live on the edge that way.

The other day I was on my way home, it was a Saturday afternoon and pretty outside. I am kind of a car/truck girl… meaning I love cars, trucks, motorcycles etc. So there was this Ford Pickup next to me with at least an 8 inch lift on it with really bad ass tires! To me, this was hot!!! So, I am of course staring at the truck and admiring the lift kit, when I notice that the cute guy driving the truck is staring back at me! We were at an intersection where I was about to do a u-turn and he was in the ‘going straight’ lane….. so I smiled and preceded to do my u-turn. The next thing I knew, he had busted a turn from his lane to follow me!! I then turned into my housing complex and went to my house and got out of my car… well he was not as fast and was unable to follow me to my house. So I didn’t think anything of it. I go inside and am standing in the kitchen talking to my roommate when I see his truck drive past our house!!

“Shut up! He didn’t really follow me did he??” And with that I slammed my glass down on the counter and grabbed my keys to “pretend” I needed something out of my car. He was at the end of the street and when he saw me come outside he turned around and came back. So what do you say to a guy that is clearly following you?

After he introduced himself he was sure to say that he wasn’t really following me but thought I was one of his friends who had gotten a new car! (Yeah right, that’s just what guys say when they don’t have anything better to say. Now if he had owned up to the fact that he thought I was cute and followed me home just to ask for my number…. that would have been commendable!) So… I stood there (outside in 100 degree heat, melting my butt off) while he sat in his jacked up truck (in the A/C and cool) talking! He eventually asked me for my number, but didn’t bother to get out of his truck and talk to me. *Should have been a red flag!  I gave him my number to which he promptly text messaged me about 30 minutes after we met… also… a red flag… a guy that eager to talk to you is potentially desperate! (Take note girls) Not only that… but he preceded to blow up my phone with texts calling me ‘babe’ ‘honey’ ‘sweetheart’ etc….. Also a red flag… if a guy is already calling you that… then it’s no big thing and he probably calls every chick he meets ‘babe’.

The Date : Wow… what a mess!

We agree to meet up for dinner at a local Mexican food restaurant… I get there before he does and so I am waiting at the bar. I am thinking to myself, do I even remember what he looks like??  Then I see him… he is coming towards me at the bar… smiling… nice face… I am sitting down. I stand up to greet him…. but wait… oh no… I am at least 5 inches taller than he is!!!!!!! Oh no!!!! So awkward, because when we met, he didn’t get out of his huge jacked up truck so I had no idea how tall or short he was!

These were the shoes I was wearing and if I had known how short he was, I would have worn flats. But I have to say, that I would have been taller than him even if I had worn flat shoes.

Now that I am officially awkward that he is so short and I am towering over him… we are at the bar (Thank god… I need a drink now) so we order drinks! We chat about the usual stuff and he seems to be genuinely interested in getting to know me. (Maybe the only 1/2 a point he earned the whole night) Once we got to our table he then started telling he how he needed to order for me because knew what was good and what wasn’t. (Red flag… seriously… I hate it when guys pretend they are such a macho man by thinking they know what I want to eat. I should have gotten up and left at this point but I didn’t) So he orders something, I can’t even remember what it is called but it was horrible!!! I think I ate an entire basket of chips and salsa! On top of the bad choice of ordering for me, he only wants to talk about himself… which I can only be entertained for so long with one subject! I was doing the covert look at my watch under the table counting down the minutes until I could leave. Thank goodness we just met there, so at least I didn’t have the awkward ride home to deal with!

And that was the end of Mr. Over-Compensating…. other than a bunch of text messages where he was begging me to go on another date with him….. but he was already voted off the island!

* Paige *

Tags: Awkward Dates, bad dates, Dallas, Dating Blog, First Dates, Girl 2 Girl, Girl Two Girl, girl2girl, Jacked Up trucks, Mexian Food Dates, Single Girl, Single Girl Blog, Texas

Not Mr. Darcy

Going on my first date in a while was … a learning experience.  Allow me to elaborate…

Not Mr. Darcy and I met at a dance party, and he seemed harmless enough.  At the end of the evening, he gave me his card and asked me to call him – red flag #1.  We set up a time to meet up for dinner after work for Italian food.  I figured, even if the date was a dud, at least the food would be great!

The typical first date questions (“Where are you from?” “What do you do for work?” etc.) were exchanged while we waited for bread and drinks.  I ordered.  He ordered.  Crickets chirped.  I felt like a detective, drilling him with questions and trying to get the conversation up and running again!  When the food arrived, he asked me who my favorite authors were, and I replied “Shakespeare and Jane Austen.”  Without batting an eye, he said, “Shakespeare, nice.  And, who was the second one?”  Astonishingly, he had no idea who Jane Austen was!  I tried to jog his memory, offering “Well, she wrote Pride and Prejudice, among others.”  His answer?  “Oh, is that like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?”

No.

Needless to say, I passed on dessert and coffee.

Walking out to my car, I heard him say, “So, hang out again?”  (In what universe does that count as a complete sentence?)  In my head, my response was, “Are you kidding me?  You think this went well?”  But all I said was, “Yeah, maybe.”

A week later, he called me and I told him that I wasn’t interested in dating him.  I felt a little bad about it, but I didn’t want to risk falling asleep in my chicken parmigiana, should he suggest another dinner.

Lessons learned from this encounter:
1) If a guy can’t ask for your number and call you himself, walk away.
2) If he can’t carry on a conversation for the fifteen minutes it takes to get the food, walk away.
3) If he can’t speak in coherent, complete sentences, walk away.

You’ve been warned.

-Jane

* These boots were made for walking…. away from him!

Tags: bad dates, bad italian dates, blind dates, date shoes, dating, first date, girl2girl, girltwogirl, Jane Austen, Mr. Darcy, shoes for dates, single girls, what not to do on a date